Ninty days.

Yesterday we welcomed the 3rd trimester with open arms.

In less than 90 days we will be celebrating Lane's BIRTHDAY!!

And Dad just so happens to be finishing up the last couple days

of his 90 day probation period at the new job.

So a big hallelujah for being 2/3 of the way through this pregnancy

and not having to pay an arm & a leg for COBRA anymore!! 

 

 

As far as the pregnancy goes...

I'm exhausted, sore, and lose my breath very easily.

But, I honestly can't complain.

Those are all very typical symptoms at this point in pregnancy.

I really am trying to embrace this last trimester, soak it all in.

Sigh.

My last trimester.

Ever.

Ever?

 

As far as dad's job goes...

He love love loves it!!

He is SO happy!!!!

I cannot stress enough...

If you are unhappy with where you are.

Whether it is a job. Or a town. Or a relationship.

MOVE.

You're not a tree.

Life is way too short.

And the people who love you will thank you.

Trav being happy..

makes me happy..

which makes our family happy!!

 

So that is where we are.

Happy.

Anxious.

Thankful.

Finishing up one countdown & starting a new one :)



I'm that girl

Happy Happy Thursday!!

This is no ordinary Thursday, oh no no no.

This is the season premier of my two favorite shows.

Scandal & Parenthood!!!

Seriously. In love.

I have never been a 'series' follower.

Basing your entire evening around a show. Psh.

Ain't nobody got time for that.

But sweet baby Jesus.

Hook, line, & sinker

 

 

Parenthood is totally me.

All about family and feelings.

I cry every single episode.

Happy or sad. Doesn't matter. I cry.

Ugly cry.

But I secretly kind of like it.

Crying is good for the soul.

 

 

Scandal is totally not me

but I wish it was in every secret fantasy I've ever had.

It's intense. I have a mini heart attack every single episode.

I'm not sure how I am going to be able to get through tonight

without a bottle of wine.

And let's not even get started with my love for Fitz.

Girllllll....

 

So yes! If you haven't ever watched either one of these shows.

Tonight. Chill a bottle of wine. And get ready for an emotional roller coaster.

You will thank me. Promise!

 

Thank goodness for the sun setting a bit earlier now.

The boys will never know that they are going to bed a few minutes early tonight ;)

New Approach

 

I'm sure you have seen articles like this

floating around Facebook.

There is a lot of them.

And I'm hooked.

I read them every time.

And I bawl my eyes out every.single.time.

 

Why?

Because...

I am  that mom that constantly feels like I am failing.

 

But what I am beginning to realize...

Is that EVERY mom feels the way I do.

And that...helps.

It reassures me that I'm not alone. 

 

I had a complete melt down last week.

Not because of the kids.

But being a mom made it worse.

Even through a melt down...

You still have to change diapers and make dinner

and help with homework.

There is no off button. Ever.

 

 

But there is bedtime.

Bedtime is my favorite part of the day.

And not necessarily because my kids are going to bed.

It's the only part of the day that I feel like I have my shit together.

We have a bedtime routine.

Which everyone follows, religiously.

Everyone is calm and happy and extra snuggly.

 

It's the only time of the day that I can completely focus on them.

No cooking or cleaning or errands or technology or entertaining.

Just us.

And every night when I put them to bed...

I find myself missing them.

Wishing the day never had to end.

Even though...

throughout the day I catch myself wishing for that same day to end.

 

So I think that is my new approach to parenting.

Making my whole day just like bedtime.

A little less stressing and chores and definitely technology.

We are going simple. Mama needs simple.

I let my anxiety get the best of me & in turn...

I take it out on little people who don't deserve it.

 

So here is to late night blog posts.

No FB app at my finger tips.

Meal prepping.

Less worrying.

And a happier mama.

Because a happy mom = happy kids.

 



All caught up!

We celebrated our 5 year anniversary a couple weeks ago.

And I honestly can't believe we have only been married for 5 years.

Four babies in five years makes for a long marriage. lol.

But we are doing it. Every single day. Together.

I love this guy more now than ever.

And I truly mean that.

We are growing quite nicely together, if I do say so myself :)

 

We celebrated with crab legs & ice cream.

Per the preggo's request.

& we were going to go to the comedy club...

but going to bed early with no kids for the night sounded much more appealing.

Happy 5 years to us!!

 

 

Luke.

OMG. This boy.

He seriously makes my heart swell with pride.

I have started volunteering in his classroom every Monday &

am able to see first hand him in his element.

It is awesome! So so so awesome!

He's everything I ever hoped for.

Smart, caring, respectful.

I could go on & on. But I have 3 other boys to get to ;)

 

 

Logan.

Hahahahaha. Oh Loggie Bear :)

His teacher has fallen for his charm.

Do I know my boys or what?

He IS doing so much better in school!!

He is learning!

We did his 'homework' this morning...

and although it was messy... he KNEW what he was doing.

5ffffff555555555555555555yyy5555555555555555555 -Logan

It made me smile ear to ear!

And his communication?!

GAH!! He is talking more & more everyday.

School really does work wonders.

 

 

Liam.

I mean. Just look at that face.

He's a doll baby.

And he knows it.

He's been melting my heart with this baby business lately.

He has a stuffed tiger that he calls his 'baby'

And he is verrrrry protective of 'her'

This morning he woke up & the first thing out of his mouth was...

"Where's my baby? Where is she?"

Thankfully she was still in the same bed he made her last night.

And all was right in the world again.

Oh! And I can't forget his other adorable thing lately.

Snuggles.

Trav has a hard time saying no to those blue eyes.

So he occasionally lets Liam snuggle in our bed for a little bit

 after we put the other 2 to bed.

Well. Liam has caught on.

Every night he runs into our bed and pats the pillow saying

"Daddy. Snuggle. Dadddddyyy."

Gaaahhh. I mean. How do you say no to that?

I could just eat him up!

 

 

Lane.

Lane. Lane. Lane.

We hit 25 weeks on Wednesday.

And I am feeling him kick more & more everyday.

At his doctor appointment last week...

He was almost 2 pounds. And healthy as can be.

He doesn't let me sleep at night. Which makes for long days.

But that's ok. Mama is used to the whole no sleep thing. 

 

We have been in baby mode the past week or so.

Filling his closet with clothes.

Because I always get rid of my baby clothes

 because I think the next one WILL be a girl.

Putting new carpet upstairs. Painting. Cleaning. Organizing.

I think we are all anxious.

And the bigger my belly gets.

It's hard not to think about anything else :)

 

 

And hell. While we are doing an update on the whole family.

We can't leave out Hooch.

Hooch is still a pain in my ass.

He shit on my BRAND NEW CARPET.

Shit. A dog that has been potty trained for 6+ years....

I wanted to kill him.

But I refrained.

Because that would be another mess I would have to clean up.

But besides that. I guess he's been alright.

The boys adore him. So I deal.

 

 

Happy Friday!!  Happy Weekend!!

Over 1/2 Way There!!

Today we hit 22 weeks!!

Exactly 18 weeks until Lane's due date!!

And... New Year's Eve in case you were wondering :)

 

 

This was us at 20 weeks. 

And probably the last time I looked in a mirror.

Seriously....

 

I have been trying to balance

soaking in my last pregnancy and wanting this baby out yesterday.

Kidding. Kinda. Not really.

 

And of course. The BEST thing about being pregnant...

is that magical feeling when you feel the baby kick.

Well. This little stinker LOVES being curled up in a ball facing my spine.

So his kicks are few and far between.

Total bummer!

But on the plus side...

I do get to have another ultrasound because of him staying it that ball.

 

Ahhhh!!

I'm getting so so anxious!

Yesterday I ordered our first 'family of 6' décor.

Something I have been waiting to purchase until our family was complete.

 

 

Gah!! I love it. So simple & adorable!

And now! I can FINALLY make this..............

 

 

Love. Love. Love. Love.

I feel like I have to do everything in 4s now. Ha.

 

I am so glad school has started.

I feel like this second half of the pregnancy

is going to go super fast with our busy schedule.

Which is fine by me!

I much rather have a baby in my arms than in my belly.

And don't forget that newborn baby smell >>>>

 

The boys are just as anxious!!

Liam keeps walking around with his "baby" stuffed tiger

hugging & kissing it. It is soooo adorable!!

It is hard to imagine him not being the baby. Sigh.

And Daniel Tiger just had an episode about his baby sister

so now L&L are even more excited than before.

I love that they love being big brothers.

I have never had to worry about jealousy or adjusting.

They are just full of love. It's amazing!

 

I'll update again after our next appointment in 2 weeks :)

 

 



Logan is in Peeschoo :)

If sending your first born off to Kindergarten

isn't enough on a hormonal pregnant woman...

Let's throw sending your second born off to Preschool in the same week.

 

 

It was bittersweet.

But to be honest...not as emotional.

I'm not sure if it is because Logan is my second born.

That I have already gone through this before. Knew what to expect.

Or...if it is because Logan's personality is different than Luke's.

Luke is shy and sensitive.

Logan. Not so much.

He is small.

The smallest in his entire class actually.

But he is fierce.

When I have to explain Logan's personality...I usually just end up laughing.

His teacher had us fill out a little questionnaire about him.

"Use three words to explain your child."

1. Sweet 2. Hilarious 3. Crazy Wild

 

 

You can see all three of those qualities in this picture ^^

You might notice all his pictures were taken inside..

There is a reason for this....

I can confine him inside.

 Outside...

He would of been gone in a hot second.

 

Gaaaahhh. I'm sorry.

But I cannot help myself. Just look at that picture.

 I love that kid.

As wild as he is...

He is the sweetest little boy ever.

And so so so funny.

That is why I don't worry about him as much.

I know whatever trouble he gets himself into...

He is going to charm his way out of it.

Whether it is making your heart melt or making you laugh until you cry.

 

The only concern I did have with him starting school was...

Well. He IS wild.

I was certain that he would not cooperate with the 'rules'...

 

 

I don't think he really understood the concept of 'school'

but he sure was excited to wear a book bag & check out where Luke goes all day.

 

When we got to school...

he went and lined up on the wall with all the other kids.

This was a start!

Maybe everyone was right...

"Sarah, he will amaze you once he goes to school.

He will do so good. No need to be anxious"

 

Once he was on the wall...

He could care less that I was even there.

He told me bye but...

I stayed to watch him walk in.

He was WALKING IN A LINE. That's a BIG deal!

Then. Hahahahaha. Logan.

ONLY Logan started veering towards the playground.

All I could think was 'oh no...here we go.'

But then he did amaze me!

His teacher said "Logan let's get back in line"

AND HE DID!! Phew.

 

When I got back into the car there were no tears.

 Just a little smirk on my face.

THAT'S my Logan.

 

When I went to pick him up he ran into my arms and said...

"MOM! I came back!!"

Yes, yes you did baby :)

 

Logan does not talking very much.

Like... Liam talks just as much as him.

So it is kind of hard to get that much out of him on how is day was.

But! I'm pretty sure he loved it!

And that he had chocolate milk and a hot dog for lunch. HA.

 

 

We are now on Day 5 of Pre-K.

And I have gotten to know Logan's teacher very well already, haha.

She said he is so so so so sweet.

But they are definitely working on attention span and listening.

Exactly what I expected. Even feared.

BUT Miss Ware keeps reassuring me that he is not the only one.

And that it is completely normal for his age.

I think I just got a 'by the book' for my first born.

Oh Logan.

You are giving me gray hair.

I love love love love love love love you!!!



Kindergarten Mom

Last week at this time...

I was a blubbering, hot mess.

It could be the extra hormones...

But still. I was extremely emotional.

 

 

Kindergarten is no joke.

It is the "new" 1st grade.

There is no more learning to tie your shoes

and learning the alphabet.

You should already know those things by 5.

It's math and science and social studies

and computers and art and music

and and and.

 

THAT made it even harder on me.

See...in my eyes...Luke is still a baby.

I don't know if it's because he is my (first) or what.

But I have had a very hard time letting him go...

Being aware of the fact that he is indeed not a baby anymore...

And that he IS more capable of things then I give him credit for.

 

 

So the night before his first day...

I made sure everything was perfect for him.

I had his book bag packed.

His clothes laid out.

A special bedtime story.

 

The morning of...

I made him his favorite breakfast.

Took one too many pictures.

Had a prep talk with him.

Maybe more for me than for him.

Got to school extra early...

for even more pictures.

 

 

And then...after settling him into his classroom...

He said... "Mom, you can go now."

Sigh. He was ready.

And I...

I still wasn't.

I'm not sure I will ever be ready.

 

I was anxious all.day.long.

I cried on and off all.day.long.

I was a half hour early to pick him up

JUST to make sure I didn't leave him waiting for one single second.

 

Finally I saw him walking towards me.

And you know what?

He jumped into my arms with a big grin on his face and said...

"MOM SCHOOL IS SO AWESOME!!! But I still missed you."

 

Gah!! I mean do they come any sweeter?

No. No they don't.

 

 

And everyday since has been the exact same way.

He jumps up into my arms with a big grin on his face and says

"I missed you so much mom!"

He loves school. And he still misses me.

It's a win win.

 

I think the hardest thing about sending your babies off to school is...

fear.

Fear of them not fitting in.

Or falling behind, or God forbid... missing you too much.

 

But ya know...

 after a few e-mails back & forth with his teacher...

I am more than at ease now. He really is doing great.

And he really does love school.

 

 

I am so proud of my baby little man.

He truly is one of the sweetest, most respectful, smartest 5 year olds I know.

He has so much potential.

And I absolutely cannot wait to see where

 this new chapter in his life takes him!!



Little Boy's Mama

I was in Target last week walking through the baby aisles

when one of the employees noticed my baby bump.

 He asked me if I would be interested in looking

at some of the clearance baby items he had just put up.

 I informed him that I was actually expecting my fourth

so I didn't really need any of the big items.

 He asked me what I was having & I replied with "my fourth boy."

 I thought that man was going to come hug me. 

We went on to have a nice little conversation

 and at the end he told me he was going to pray for me.

 Haha. Thank you random Target employee.

Then...

When I was checking out the cashier noticed my variety of boy items.

 Asked if I had twins? How old was my oldest? If I was expecting another boy?

I proudly said

 "Yes. I have four boys. My oldest is 5 and I am due with my fourth in January." 

She had the same reaction as the previous employee.

The conversation ended with I will pray for you.

 

See a common theme here? This is my everyday conversations.

 People are truly worried about me having four boys. However will she do it?

 All I can do is laugh.

Apparently those people do not know my boys.

Boys really are wild and messy.

 But I think people forget that boys are just as sweet as they are wild.

 And even more adorable than they are messy.

 

I love when they turn sticks into swords.

I love when they are fascinated with bugs.

I love when they have dirt smeared across their face.

I love the Band-Aids on their tiny little knees.

Some preventive some not. 

I love how they pick me weeds flowers every chance they get.

I love how sometimes all they need/want is their mama.

I love how they love snuggles more than most girls.
Sure. I might be a little biased. But...

I just absolutely love love love being a boy mom.
 

 

 I found this article on FB & just had to share.

It is perfect and so incredibly true.

Enjoy!!

Being a little boy’s mama is knowing to point the penis down in a diaper,

and probably getting a face full of urine at least once in your life.

It means having to educate a child on owning a body that you know shockingly little about (testosterone, masturbation, facial hair),

and answering questions like, “Why it straight, mommy?

OH NO, WHY IS MY PENIS STRAIGHT?!”

(Being a mama to only boys may also mean quietly weeping for the useless advice

you have about owning ovaries and wild mood swings.)

Being a little boy’s mama means pockets full of wildflowers and dandelions.

 It means cuddles and compliments and thoughtful gestures from a miniature gentleman.

Being a little boy’s mama means hearing phrases like,

“Boys belong to their future wives, girls belong to their moms forever”

and dying a little inside.

It means finding rocks hidden around the house.

It means wincing at cultural slang like, “Man Up!" and “Don’t be such a girl” 

— wishing you could put a force field around his tiny spirit.

Being a little boy’s mama means teaching the lesson of “NO”

— especially when it comes to someone’s body or personal space.

It means not only teaching respect,

but modeling what a respectful, strong, capable woman actually is.

It’s declaring that your son will not be that guy

 who creepily grinds up behind an unsuspecting girl in a club,

or catcalls a woman walking across the street, or starts a drunken brawl.

(And then accepting that it’s a possibility.)

Being a little boy’s mama means prematurely mourning his high-pitched chipmunk voice,

 realizing that you’ll eventually hear a deeper, stronger, manlier voice.

It means knowing that one day you’ll be looking up at your child.

It means kissing his cheek and knowing that, one day, it will be prickly or unshaven.

 It means looking at his chest and legs and knowing that hair will cover his baby-soft skin.

Being a little boy’s mama means always going, moving, running, energy.

It means muddy shoes, bandaged legs,
 and breath-catching stunts that nearly stop your heart.

It means surrendering to rough housing and accepting the bloody noses.

It means playing certain games and watching certain movies t
hat you really have no interest in,

and yet still enjoy seeing through the ninja-superhero-karate perspective
 because it’s his perspective.

Being a little boy’s mama means loving your husband
 the same way you’d want your son to be loved.

Being a little boy’s mama means seeing the little boy in all men,

and feeling more empathetic than you were before.

Being a little boy’s mama will change you —
harden you in some places, soften you in others

— but will ultimately give the sweetest memories of when,
 for a brief period,

 you were everything to a sticky-faced little man.

Liam's Birth Story

Before I get too behind and have to write two birth stories at once...

Let me tell you about Liam's. It was painful. And quick.

It made me reconsider ever having a fourth. Ha.

And now that I am pregnant with my fourth...

It makes me absolutely terrified to go into labor.

 

 

November 18, 2012

 

I had a day date planned with my friend Nicole. Lunch & a movie.

We went to Applebee's where I couldn't get comfortable at the table. Or eat.

But blew it off as...

I'm 9 months pregnant & miserable no matter what I do.

So off to the movies we went.

Through the whole movie..

 I couldn't sit still. I was uncomfortable. And sore. And hot. And thirsty.

I started putting all the pieces together

& realized this is exactly how I felt when I started going into labor with Luke.

 And I just so happened to be with the exact same person.

When I'm ready to have Lane, I am having Nicole take me somewhere.

 She's apparently a good luck charm.

After sucking it up the whole movie..

I demanded asked her to take me straight home.

 

When I got home.. I didn't say a word to Travis about me not feeling right.

After all.. I did in fact go into false labor 2 weeks prior.

 My doctor specifically told me..

even if I was having contractions..

to not come back in until I couldn't talk anymore.

And well. At that point.. I could still talk.

 

I remember the boys being hungry & wanting McDonald's.

 All three of them were sitting in the kitchen

 eating McNasty this and McNasty that

while I am sitting in the living room

looking at them in disgust.

 The smell of the food. The sounds of them eating the food.

 I thought I was going to vomit.

 

I finally made it to bed around 1 or so.

At this point.. I could no longer ignore what was really going on.

I sat there for an hour or so. In the dark.

Counting quietly by myself while my husband was snoring in my ear.

 

They went quick.

 From 8 minutes to 6 to 3. I got up. Started pacing around the room.

 At that point I knew this was the real deal.

 I couldn't breathe. And I could barely talk.

I brushed my teeth and put on some pants.

It was time to go.

Trav called Candace to come stay with the boys.

 And I kid you not. She was there within 3 minutes. Haha.

 By the time she got here.. I couldn't talk. At all.

I honestly thought I was going to die.

 

With both Luke & Logan my parents met us at our house

& then followed us to the hospital.

This time...

we didn't have time to wait for them.

They met us on the highway.

 

It was the longest ride of my life.

By the time we got to Columbia..

I really thought I was going to have that baby in a ditch on Route 3.

Trust me. I know what labor feels like.

My labor with Luke was intense.

 I had Pitocin with Logan. And a C-Section.

I know what contractions feel like. I know pain.

But this was the most excruciating pain I have ever experienced.

 

Once we got to the hospital..

 Trav didn't even have the car in park and I was already half way in the ER.

I couldn't even tell them I was in labor. Guess they assumed.

 There was no checking me in. Or asking for an insurance card.

 They sat me down in a wheel chair and took me straight upstairs.

 I remember the nurse asking me how far apart my contractions were

 only to answering the question for herself.

I'm telling ya.. no break.
 Contraction on top of contraction.

I felt like I was drowning
 and could only come up for a breath every couple minutes.

When we got up to the room.

There was no peeing in a cup. Or any of that other nonsense.

I took my pants off ever so lady like and got into the bed.

 

As they were trying to stick an IV in my arm

the nurse informed me that  I was dilated to a SEVEN.

Yep. In true Sarah form. Panic attack. Full blown out panic attack.

 I felt like me entire face was being stuck with a million needles.

My whole body was paralyzed.

 I was in shock.

 I remember my mom wrapping her arms around me tight

&whispering to me that I could do this.

I calmed down and they eventually got an IV in me.

All those pokes left both my arms with ginormous bruises on them for weeks after.

 

I remember my nurse's name was Sarah.

 At that point I didn't want my husband. Or my mom.

 I didn't want anyone but Sarah.

She was a nurse. She knew that I wasn't going to die.

I needed her to reassure me of that over and over again.

 

THANK YOU SWEET BABY JESUS IN HEAVEN

I had an extremely small window to still get an epidural.

Which by the way.. Is extremely hard to have done

when you are having such intense contractions.
Future moms out there.
Get the epidural BEFORE you feel like every bone in your body is being crushed.

 I had nurse Sarah promise to hold my entire body still ya know...

so I wouldn't get paralyzed or even worse..die.

 

 I got the epidural.

And almost instantly.. had to push.

 Now.. epidurals take about 5 minutes to numb your whole lower body.

 At this point.. only one leg was numb.
Faaaack.
That half counts as a natural birth.. right?

 

The doctor came in as I was on my first push. 

Halfway through the second push the doctor told me

 "Stop pushing! He's here!"

and then I heard the third most amazing sound I have ever heard in my life.

His first cry.

 Liam James was here.

Safe. Healthy. Perfect.

 

 

Born on November 19, 2012 at 4:42 a.m.
I not only had him at exactly 39 weeks, just like Luke.

He was also the exact same size as his big brother too

 at 6 pounds 10 ounces and 20 inches long.

10 fingers and 10 toes.

And two adorable dimples :)

 

 

 

 I am nervous about experiencing this all over again in a couple months.

My doctor has already had a discussion with me about how fast this delivery will go.

Which sends me into instant panic mode.

But oh my word.

I cannot wait to get that precious baby boy in my arms

and finally have my happily ever after :)