Little Boy's Mama

I was in Target last week walking through the baby aisles

when one of the employees noticed my baby bump.

 He asked me if I would be interested in looking

at some of the clearance baby items he had just put up.

 I informed him that I was actually expecting my fourth

so I didn't really need any of the big items.

 He asked me what I was having & I replied with "my fourth boy."

 I thought that man was going to come hug me. 

We went on to have a nice little conversation

 and at the end he told me he was going to pray for me.

 Haha. Thank you random Target employee.

Then...

When I was checking out the cashier noticed my variety of boy items.

 Asked if I had twins? How old was my oldest? If I was expecting another boy?

I proudly said

 "Yes. I have four boys. My oldest is 5 and I am due with my fourth in January." 

She had the same reaction as the previous employee.

The conversation ended with I will pray for you.

 

See a common theme here? This is my everyday conversations.

 People are truly worried about me having four boys. However will she do it?

 All I can do is laugh.

Apparently those people do not know my boys.

Boys really are wild and messy.

 But I think people forget that boys are just as sweet as they are wild.

 And even more adorable than they are messy.

 

I love when they turn sticks into swords.

I love when they are fascinated with bugs.

I love when they have dirt smeared across their face.

I love the Band-Aids on their tiny little knees.

Some preventive some not. 

I love how they pick me weeds flowers every chance they get.

I love how sometimes all they need/want is their mama.

I love how they love snuggles more than most girls.
Sure. I might be a little biased. But...

I just absolutely love love love being a boy mom.
 

 

 I found this article on FB & just had to share.

It is perfect and so incredibly true.

Enjoy!!

Being a little boy’s mama is knowing to point the penis down in a diaper,

and probably getting a face full of urine at least once in your life.

It means having to educate a child on owning a body that you know shockingly little about (testosterone, masturbation, facial hair),

and answering questions like, “Why it straight, mommy?

OH NO, WHY IS MY PENIS STRAIGHT?!”

(Being a mama to only boys may also mean quietly weeping for the useless advice

you have about owning ovaries and wild mood swings.)

Being a little boy’s mama means pockets full of wildflowers and dandelions.

 It means cuddles and compliments and thoughtful gestures from a miniature gentleman.

Being a little boy’s mama means hearing phrases like,

“Boys belong to their future wives, girls belong to their moms forever”

and dying a little inside.

It means finding rocks hidden around the house.

It means wincing at cultural slang like, “Man Up!" and “Don’t be such a girl” 

— wishing you could put a force field around his tiny spirit.

Being a little boy’s mama means teaching the lesson of “NO”

— especially when it comes to someone’s body or personal space.

It means not only teaching respect,

but modeling what a respectful, strong, capable woman actually is.

It’s declaring that your son will not be that guy

 who creepily grinds up behind an unsuspecting girl in a club,

or catcalls a woman walking across the street, or starts a drunken brawl.

(And then accepting that it’s a possibility.)

Being a little boy’s mama means prematurely mourning his high-pitched chipmunk voice,

 realizing that you’ll eventually hear a deeper, stronger, manlier voice.

It means knowing that one day you’ll be looking up at your child.

It means kissing his cheek and knowing that, one day, it will be prickly or unshaven.

 It means looking at his chest and legs and knowing that hair will cover his baby-soft skin.

Being a little boy’s mama means always going, moving, running, energy.

It means muddy shoes, bandaged legs,
 and breath-catching stunts that nearly stop your heart.

It means surrendering to rough housing and accepting the bloody noses.

It means playing certain games and watching certain movies t
hat you really have no interest in,

and yet still enjoy seeing through the ninja-superhero-karate perspective
 because it’s his perspective.

Being a little boy’s mama means loving your husband
 the same way you’d want your son to be loved.

Being a little boy’s mama means seeing the little boy in all men,

and feeling more empathetic than you were before.

Being a little boy’s mama will change you —
harden you in some places, soften you in others

— but will ultimately give the sweetest memories of when,
 for a brief period,

 you were everything to a sticky-faced little man.

Liam's Birth Story

Before I get too behind and have to write two birth stories at once...

Let me tell you about Liam's. It was painful. And quick.

It made me reconsider ever having a fourth. Ha.

And now that I am pregnant with my fourth...

It makes me absolutely terrified to go into labor.

 

 

November 18, 2012

 

I had a day date planned with my friend Nicole. Lunch & a movie.

We went to Applebee's where I couldn't get comfortable at the table. Or eat.

But blew it off as...

I'm 9 months pregnant & miserable no matter what I do.

So off to the movies we went.

Through the whole movie..

 I couldn't sit still. I was uncomfortable. And sore. And hot. And thirsty.

I started putting all the pieces together

& realized this is exactly how I felt when I started going into labor with Luke.

 And I just so happened to be with the exact same person.

When I'm ready to have Lane, I am having Nicole take me somewhere.

 She's apparently a good luck charm.

After sucking it up the whole movie..

I demanded asked her to take me straight home.

 

When I got home.. I didn't say a word to Travis about me not feeling right.

After all.. I did in fact go into false labor 2 weeks prior.

 My doctor specifically told me..

even if I was having contractions..

to not come back in until I couldn't talk anymore.

And well. At that point.. I could still talk.

 

I remember the boys being hungry & wanting McDonald's.

 All three of them were sitting in the kitchen

 eating McNasty this and McNasty that

while I am sitting in the living room

looking at them in disgust.

 The smell of the food. The sounds of them eating the food.

 I thought I was going to vomit.

 

I finally made it to bed around 1 or so.

At this point.. I could no longer ignore what was really going on.

I sat there for an hour or so. In the dark.

Counting quietly by myself while my husband was snoring in my ear.

 

They went quick.

 From 8 minutes to 6 to 3. I got up. Started pacing around the room.

 At that point I knew this was the real deal.

 I couldn't breathe. And I could barely talk.

I brushed my teeth and put on some pants.

It was time to go.

Trav called Candace to come stay with the boys.

 And I kid you not. She was there within 3 minutes. Haha.

 By the time she got here.. I couldn't talk. At all.

I honestly thought I was going to die.

 

With both Luke & Logan my parents met us at our house

& then followed us to the hospital.

This time...

we didn't have time to wait for them.

They met us on the highway.

 

It was the longest ride of my life.

By the time we got to Columbia..

I really thought I was going to have that baby in a ditch on Route 3.

Trust me. I know what labor feels like.

My labor with Luke was intense.

 I had Pitocin with Logan. And a C-Section.

I know what contractions feel like. I know pain.

But this was the most excruciating pain I have ever experienced.

 

Once we got to the hospital..

 Trav didn't even have the car in park and I was already half way in the ER.

I couldn't even tell them I was in labor. Guess they assumed.

 There was no checking me in. Or asking for an insurance card.

 They sat me down in a wheel chair and took me straight upstairs.

 I remember the nurse asking me how far apart my contractions were

 only to answering the question for herself.

I'm telling ya.. no break.
 Contraction on top of contraction.

I felt like I was drowning
 and could only come up for a breath every couple minutes.

When we got up to the room.

There was no peeing in a cup. Or any of that other nonsense.

I took my pants off ever so lady like and got into the bed.

 

As they were trying to stick an IV in my arm

the nurse informed me that  I was dilated to a SEVEN.

Yep. In true Sarah form. Panic attack. Full blown out panic attack.

 I felt like me entire face was being stuck with a million needles.

My whole body was paralyzed.

 I was in shock.

 I remember my mom wrapping her arms around me tight

&whispering to me that I could do this.

I calmed down and they eventually got an IV in me.

All those pokes left both my arms with ginormous bruises on them for weeks after.

 

I remember my nurse's name was Sarah.

 At that point I didn't want my husband. Or my mom.

 I didn't want anyone but Sarah.

She was a nurse. She knew that I wasn't going to die.

I needed her to reassure me of that over and over again.

 

THANK YOU SWEET BABY JESUS IN HEAVEN

I had an extremely small window to still get an epidural.

Which by the way.. Is extremely hard to have done

when you are having such intense contractions.
Future moms out there.
Get the epidural BEFORE you feel like every bone in your body is being crushed.

 I had nurse Sarah promise to hold my entire body still ya know...

so I wouldn't get paralyzed or even worse..die.

 

 I got the epidural.

And almost instantly.. had to push.

 Now.. epidurals take about 5 minutes to numb your whole lower body.

 At this point.. only one leg was numb.
Faaaack.
That half counts as a natural birth.. right?

 

The doctor came in as I was on my first push. 

Halfway through the second push the doctor told me

 "Stop pushing! He's here!"

and then I heard the third most amazing sound I have ever heard in my life.

His first cry.

 Liam James was here.

Safe. Healthy. Perfect.

 

 

Born on November 19, 2012 at 4:42 a.m.
I not only had him at exactly 39 weeks, just like Luke.

He was also the exact same size as his big brother too

 at 6 pounds 10 ounces and 20 inches long.

10 fingers and 10 toes.

And two adorable dimples :)

 

 

 

 I am nervous about experiencing this all over again in a couple months.

My doctor has already had a discussion with me about how fast this delivery will go.

Which sends me into instant panic mode.

But oh my word.

I cannot wait to get that precious baby boy in my arms

and finally have my happily ever after :)

Choices

might of caught that nonchalant

"dad quit his job" business from yesterday's post.
 

he did.

almost a month ago now.

it was one of the hardest decisions we have had to make so far

in our marriage. as parents.
 

it was stressful.

and terrifying.

we lost a night or two of sleep over it.

but ultimately it was the right decision.
 

trav worked with the same company for 9 years.

he started out at the bottom and worked his way up to the top.

he was making good money.

i was proud of him.

proud of what he did.

of the boss he was.
 

but with that pride came a lot of sacrifice.

some sacrifices that i was aware of.

and some that i wasn't.
 

a typical work week was 70+ hours a week.

he worked every saturday. and too many sundays.

there were a few times he worked from 4:30 am until midnight.

most days, weeks, months.. consisted of him going to work

before the boys & i were up.

coming home late. getting a shower. eating dinner. & going to bed.

going to bed only to be called numerous times throughout the night.

questions had to be answered. and sometimes he would have to go back in.

he was on call 24/7.
 

a few minutes after liam was born.. he got a call.

not a congratulations. a question.

after a few hours of snuggling that brand new baby.

he went back into work.
 

that was our life. for almost 3 years.

i was a single mom.

our grass would go weeks without getting cut.

he missed ultrasounds and birthday parties.

we would argue over who was more tired.

we were exhausted. and bitter.

but i was proud of him.
 

once we discussed every single pro & con...

i decided to leave the final decision up to him.
 

that was a big deal for me.

trusting my husband enough to make such an important decision

not only for himself, but for our entire family without me.

me. me who likes to be in control. have the last say.

so he decided it was time for a change.
 

and know what?

it was the best damn decision he could of ever made.

i cannot believe how much things have changed in the past month.

how much happier we are. trav. me. the boys.

he gets off when they say he is supposed to get off.

no more late night calls interrupting dinner. or sleep.

he's not nearly as exhausted.

he helps more with the boys. and the house.

he even started on a project that i've been begging him for 6 months to do.
 

over the past month i have learned..
 

change is scary.

but sometimes it is necessary.
 

when you're unhappy with one part of your life

it effects other parts of your life more than you know.

get happy.

whatever it takes to get there. do it.
 

trust is a powerful thing.

it's good for your soul. and your marriage.
 

and most importantly.

money does not mean everything.

family does.
 

i am excited to see where this new chapter in our life is going to take us.

i know wherever trav goes. or whatever he does..

he will be great.

and hopefully not let us starve along the way ;)
 



Missed you.

May 23rd was really my last post?? Really?!

 

Confession.

 

I'm really bad about time.

 

Being on time. Losing track of time. Realizing how much time has gone by.

 

One day. One day I will get a hang of this thing called life. Oyi.

 

Hmm.. Lots has been going on since May.

 

 We planned our first family vacation.

Liam started talking like crazy! I mean.. as much or more than Logan does.

We celebrated Luke's 1/2 birthday & Logan's 3rd birthday.

Logan got potty trained!!

Dad & I went to San Francisco to meet my biological family.

It was AMAZING! I'll write a whole post on that later. Prom!

We had an awesome 4th.

 Dad quit his job. Dad got a new job.

 We cancelled that first family vacation because Dad got a new job.

 Celebrated Mama turning 26.

And probably the most exciting thing that has happened this summer.......

 

We found out we are having another BOY!!!!

Lane Francis. I know.. adorable right?

Trav has begged me every boy if we could name him Lane.

He has quite the obsession with Lane Frost.

However, I would never give in.

Why should he get his name when he would never ever ever agree to my name?

 Pssshh.

But.

When I started playing around with middle names...

 

History lesson.

 

 Luke Matthew is named after Matt. Obviously.

 Logan Bradlee is named after both my dad Bradley and Trav's dad Roger Lee.

 Liam James is named after Trav's grandpa James.

There is no particular order of importance in the names.

 But we do love having their middle names after someone in the family.

 We are just lucky enough to be able to include a lot of grandpas :)

 

 So for this baby...

 I knew that I had to pick out a first name that would work with Harold Francis, my grandpa.

 One of my favorite people in the entire world.

 Lane won. I think Lane Francis goes together perfectly.

And I couldn't be happier with our choice.

 

Luke, Logan, Liam, & Lane.

Sigh. Just typing that out makes my heart all twitterpatted.

My boys. All four of them <3 p="">

 

Another confession.

 

Obviously.. I knew I was having my fourth child.

But.. the first time I said it outloud. "We are expecting our fourth."

I had an anxiety attack. Not even kidding you.

Which is completely absurd. I chose this life. I chose to have four kids.

But that does not make it not overwhelming.

Deep breaths Sarah. You got this.

 

I'm going to answer  your questions now.

Because I know you are thinking them.

 

YES.

Our family is complete. Physically, Mentally, Emotionally, Financially.. we can't. I can't.

 

YES.

 My heart does ache that I will never have a mother/daughter relationship.

 I am going to have to work on letting that dream go.

And pray that one day.. I will get a niece or a granddaughter. Something!

 

YES.

Despite what some might think..

I am completely happy with the fact that I am a mom of 4 boys.

My boys are wild and messy.

 But oh my word.

They are handsome and amazing and fun and perfect. And.. and.. and ;)

 

So here we are. Almost August.

 Luke & Logan are both registered for school.

School supplies have been bought. Bedtime has been moved up to 8.

We are just soaking in these last couple weeks together before our schedule becomes even crazier.

 

I already have a post scheduled for tomorrow.

 This blog is filled with empty promises & I didn't want to do that to you.

We missed you!

 

5 on Friday

 

 

 

one.

 

liam celebrated his 1/2 birthday monday!!

funny that 18 months ago...

i picky promised trav on the way to the hospital

that we were DONE having babies.

lawd! that boy was the quickest, most painful labor evvver.

 

 

 

he is so sweet and happy and hilarious.

literally. funniest kid ever.

i say kid. because he is.

nothing about him is baby.

waaaahhh!!

 

two.

 

falling in love at first sight.

seriously. is there anything more amazing than ultrasounds?!

i'm in love.

head over heels in love.

i cannot wait to meet my new mr or mrs :)

 

 

three.

 

speaking of babies!!

my cousin is pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!

and only 2 weeks behind me.

eeeeekkkk!!

i am soooo excited.

we have always joked about being pregnant together.

and now it is actually happening!!

 

 

four.

 

my baby graduated from preschool last night!!

my husband thinks that it is absurd,

but i personally think it is the cutest thing ever.

he has learned so much over the past year.

miss leslie says that he is the perfect student.

her ideal classroom would have 20 lukes.

can't get a much better compliment than that :)

 

 

i mean seriously... hand in pocket?

BIG BOY!!!

 

five.

 

 baby bradur is graduating from high school tonight.

i am still in a bit of denial.

i mean.

i changed his diapers.

i'm who he came to in the middle of the night 

when he had a nightmare.

i taught him how to write his name.

and how to treat a lady.

i was the first one to tell him

 he needed to start wearing deodorant.

he really was my first baby.

he still is.

 

 

to say i am proud of him would be an understatement.

he has grown into an amazing young man!

 

you know.

i was so overwhelmed this week.

had a couple lows.

but the fact that i had to condense all my highs into five

and still have some left over calls for a pretty damn good week!

happy memorial day weekend!!

 

Weekend Wrap Up

happy monday!!

or miserable monday.

take your pick.

my allergies ruin EVERYTHING.

 

we started our weekend a little early

with luke's field trip to the zoo!!

 

 

don't let our smiles fool you. we were pretty miserable that day too.

there is a reason we don't do fun things in the spring.

but.. all in all it was a good day. love having one on one time with my big boy!

 

friday was one of our favorite days of the month.

''grooming day"

grooming day is when my grandparents come down to red bud

to get their dog groomed. which takes all day.

which means we go to country kitchen for breakfast

and then spend the rest of the day with them!

of course i see my grandparents more than once a month.

but this day is dedicated to just hanging out.

the boys & i love it!

dad didn't get home from work until after dark, so that evening was spent

getting mother's day gifts together, pizza, and playing with the neighbors.

 

saturday we celebrated mother's day with the roscows.

at christmas we gave bonnie a photo session for family pictures.

so first we had those taken and then we enjoyed a delicious, homemade meal.

by the end of the night...

trav sold my car to his brother.

mmhmm. that is his 4th sale in a month.

i think he missed his calling.

 

sunday was nice.

dad had to work again so the boys & i went to my parents for breakfast.

proudly wearing my beautiful necklace luke matthew made for me at school :)

 

 

and we pretty much just laid around all day.

watched movies. played with the boys. searched for a new car.

had dinner. came home early. watered my gorgeous landscaping.

got baths. jammied up. and in bed early.

 

i hope all you mamas out there had a great mother's day!!

i know i did!! my heart already yearns for next mother's day.

next mother's day when i have all 4 of my babies in my arms :)

my cup runneth over <3 p="">

 

SURPRISE

hey!! life has been crazy around here.

 

dad is still working ridiculous hours. getting called all throughout the night.

having to go back in time and time again.

 it has been exhausting to say the least, but we are making it work.

as for everyone else...

luke cut his own hair the night before a photo shoot.....

logan got into PRESCHOOL!!!!!!

liam is about to celebrate his half birthday.

hooch. well hooch just tries to hide for all the craziness.

 poor wittle jack got neutered yesterday.

and my allergies have me on the verge of cutting my own head off.

 

we had a great easter. finally got landscaping. sold the boat!

and.....

if you have facebook or have talked to my mother in the past week

you have probably heard our BIG NEWS!!!!

yes!! we are expecting baby roscow #4!!

 

i am still very early in my pregnancy but...

good news travels fast.

i was extremely hesistant to share my news with the world so soon,

but my doctor is confident that everything is going great.

we are due january 4th.

but i am pretty postive that this baby will make it's apparence before 2015.

 

as far as finding out...

we have been 'trying' for 8 months now...

and every month i have been disappointed.

seems to always happen that way.

logan was the only other baby we tried for.

and that took 10 months.

luke & liam... 10 seconds...

so, what did i do when nothing was happening?

"let's wait until the end of summer"

then bam! oh baby!

 

after trav left for work i just had this feeling to go take a test.

and to my surprise...

it was POSITIVE!!!!!!!!!!!

then, of course i had to take just one more to make sure.

once again, straight to postive!!

i could not stop grinning.

no matter how much you plan to get pregnant....

nothing prepares you for the overwhelming feeling you get

when you see those 2 pink lines.

 

normally...i would of called trav right away

but i figured since it was going to be our last pregnancy...

i wanted to do something special for him.

i had to think of something quick

because lets face it... i can't keep a secret very long.

also, it had to be something that he wouldn't find suspicious.

 

so i made reservations at our favorite new resteraunt.

requested a 'special dessert' for the daddy to be.

found a babysitter. and prayed he got off work at a decent time.

 

i felt like i was proposing or something. so nervous!

but in the end, everything worked out perfectly.

((except the wine he tried offereing me TWICE before dessert))

dinner went great.

and then in the corner of my eye...

i saw our server walking out with his dessert.

lolololololololololol.

she sat down the plate right in front of him.

strawberry cheesecake with "we're expecting" written in sauce.

 

at first he was so so so confused.

later on he told me he thought they sent it to the wrong table.

then it hit him.

at first i got a "HUH!?!?"

and then....

he started crying.

omg! not the reaction i was expecting from him,

but it was the best reaction i could of ever got.

him crying made me cry.

and then we noticed every person in the resteraunt looking at us,

cheering us on.

it was such a neat experience!! and couldn't of been more perfect.

 

 

eeeekkk!! i seriously cannot stop grinning.

i have been waiting for this day for a long, long time.

my last pregnancy.

to have my family complete.

to finally plan a trip to disney world. ha!

 

and i can't finish this happy post with wishing my

very best friend a happy birthday today!!

my mama :):)