Oh Darla!

After starving myself for 2 weeks (I know, I know) I am down 4 pounds post Logan. Sounds awesome right?!?! Sure. IF I was at a good weight before I got pregnant. But that is not the case.

I'm overweight. I know it. And now I've said it...
It's not something that I'm proud of. And it sure has heck isn't something I can hide.

Honestly, I am not even sure how I got here. I have never been "skinny" by any means. But before I had Luke, I could eat 5 big macs or 5 salads and I would stay the same weight.  But the moment Luke was born, all hell broke loose. My body HATES me. Like really hates me. I don't eat anything and I seem to gain weight. I chase around Luke all day long and I seem to gain weight. Heck, I look at a candy bar and I seem to gain weight. I'm at my wits end. I don't need to be on a diet, I need a life change.

That is where Darla comes in. My personal trainer!! Last night was my first night. I was excited & extremely nervous. When you have no self confidence and your laying all your failures out on the table...not a good feeling. But I know if I want that "happiness", I'm going to have to be vulnerable for awhile.

Oh Darla! For real. I couldn't as for a better PT. She's an absoloute sweetheart with tons of energy. We started out by getting on the scale..... I know they say what you weigh doesn't matter. But try telling any girl who has a weight probelm that. It does matter. In my head at least. Then we did measurements. I don't even know what good measurements are. But I have a feeling mine were not so great.

Then she put all my numbers into this website which gave me the foods I need to eat, to stay away from, and how many calories I'm allowed each day. 1800 calories total a day, eating every 3 hours. Which just seems outrageous to me. Seriously, I am a 'eat one meal a day' type girl. Which just pisses me off like no other...I hardly eat and still am fat! UGGGHH! I also HAVE to work out at least 30 minutes of vigrous exercise every.single.day. I can do this. I can do this. COMPLETELY reasonable. Of course, this is just my trial week. Next week I'm sure there will be more and more to add to my to do list. Joy! hehe

The workout wasn't bad. But I have a feeling this will be the last time I say that.... We are going to take it easy on a few of the exercises for awhile due to the fact I did just have major surgery 5 weeks ago. So guess who you are going to see WALKING WALKING WALKING all over town?! Honk for encouragment, yell out a little "Go Sarah!!!" if you see me. No joke! I'll take all that I can get. I want this. I need this. But I'm realistic too. Help me help myself. Don't let me fall of the wagon. And if you EVER see me on Wednesday nights at 6:00 p.m. doing anything besides being with Darla, slap me in the face. Hard. I'll forgive you. In fact, I'll thank you!

I even learned some new things about myself.

1. I'm weak (well I already knew that) but I'm a lot weaker than I thought I was. My right arm was like jello. Flopping all over the place. She asked if I ever had an injury to my arm? No. After discussing my past, she came to the conclusion that my weak jelloyy arm was from all those years of softball. Go figure! Apparently being a catcher & constantly throwing a ball I have stretched my ligaments to the extreme. Nice eh? Thank you softball. Thank you for messing up both my legs and now my right arm. Yikes!

2. I am apple shaped. You know when magazines always ask you what shape you are? Ya...well I never knew what I was.

3. You need to eat a little snack before you work out and then eat a good healthy meal after you work out.

4. You have to eat to lose weight. Crazy. But true! She explained it like a wood burning stove. If you put three logs on, it will burn. But if you don't add more logs to the pile, eventually the fire will go out. Same way with your stomach. I get it now!

5. To lose fat, which I need to do first...you don't do crazy heart pumping exercise (that builds muscle) you do constant cardio. While I might get tired, at least I won't be out of breath!

So I'm going to take my new tips and just go with it. Here's to a new ME!!!